One Year Ago Today

Man, how time flies.  One year ago today, at this time, I was working, and trying not to think about the fact that I was going to do a triathlon in 2 days.  One year ago today was the celebration dinner to applaud the commitment to training that my friends and I had completed, and to share in the excitement of it all coming to fruition the following Sunday.

This week, I've seen a lot of Facebook posts about pre-triathlon jitters/nerves/worries/weather concerns, etc. from the amazing group of ladies that I helped mentor this year.  It really brought me back, so I thought I'd share my own recollection of concerns on that week that I had last year, that is oh so similar to what many of these great ladies are feeling right now.  Hopefully it will help quell fears, drown worries and get them pumped for this coming Sunday, when they will become triathletes.  No matter what these ladies accomplish in their lives from that moment forward, they will always have the right to call themselves triathletes.

Here is a little summary of the days leading up to my very first triathlon in July 2012.  Two weeks prior to the race, we'd gone on vacation to New York, to celebrate the anniversary of my in-laws.  While I was fretting over missing that week's training, and so close to the actual triathlon, I did get in a very successful run session, in the wide open country, with beautiful, inspiring scenery, and I got in LOADS of swim time.  I had my husband's entire family cheering for me in the pool, as I practiced drills and swimming 250 meters almost daily, with my husband timing me and throwing back yard celebrations whenever I would beat my previous time by seconds.

Cut to just a couple days before leaving to head back to North Carolina.  I had neglected to faithfully use my swimmer's ear drops while on vacation, and suddenly I was faced with severe pain in my left ear.  I went to an urgent care in New York, where I was given antibiotics that essentially did nothing.  I was so miserable that taper week, for me, became "writhe on the couch in pain and force back tears week".  I was bummed.  I missed the taper week social activities for my group, and, ultimately made a last-minute decision to visit yet another urgent care, this time in Charlotte, to see if swimming would even possible for my upcoming race.  Fortunately, I went just in time.  After getting what can only be described as a tiny tampon viciously jammed inside my ear canal in order to open the passage to allow for antibiotics in the form of ear drops to enter, and the suggestion of using an earplug for that ear during the triathlon, I was sent on my way.

During our celebration dinner, I couldn't hear what anyone to my left at our dinner table was saying.  I said, "huh", more times than I could count, and I just felt...off.  I was sad.  All my training partners were celebrating wonderful, progressive, last-minute training success stories, and I was too embarrassed to admit that I had done absolutely nothing physicial that entire "taper" week.  Unless you count visiting the grocery store for comfort food.  I did lots of that.

I worried that I would get a flat tire on my bike and that I would be too nervous to remember the things I learned during the tire change clinic.  I fretted over forgetting essential items for my transition area.  I worried that it would be too hot, or too rainy, too muggy or just overall uncomfortable.  I worried about how lacking the sense of hearing to some degree might mess with my body.  I worried that my nutrition was crap.  I worried that I would get sunburned.  I stressed about where my husband would park when he arrived to the race to cheer me on, and what my mom would do to occupy time since she planned to ride to the race site with me and would have a couple hours to kill.  I worried about how I looked in my tri suit and about the inevitable barrage of photos I'd be tagged in on Facebook, where I was wearing tight spandex.  I thought about my knee troubles I'd had during training, and wondered what to do if it hurt on race day.  I tried to estimate the number of ounces of water I would swallow during the swim, and wondered if chlorine was a diuretic, or if I could consider pool water to be legitimate hydration.  Where would I keep my cell phone?   Where was my transition area going to be, and would it be near people that I knew?  The list was absolutely ENDLESS.

But on race day, on glorious race day- I was calm.  The swim felt like a dream sequence.  Hard to explain, but I never once hyperventilated, like I tended to do during nearly every swim practice.  My breathing was calm and controlled.  When I was tired, mentors were there to cheer me on.  When I was done with the swim, it felt so surreal.  So much easier than I had imagined, planned for.  Oh yes, a calm, peaceful swim, cut short only by the realization that my earplug had fallen out mid-swim, was stuck in my hair and the side of my swim cap, and aforementioned tiny ear tampon had become filled with water and was inching it's way out my (still deaf) ear.

The bike went well too.  I made it up the dreaded hill both loops without issue, proud of the fact that due to my awesome training, I was NOT one of the many who jumped off their bikes on that hill and walked.  No sir, I was PREPARED.  I did have a little issue with my gears at the end of the course, but nothing earth shattering.  The bike was probably my favorite part.  I even reached down and grabbed my water bottle to drink, without stopping.  Something I couldn't do nearly all 12 weeks of training.

The run wasn't phenomenal, but I didn't (and still don't) consider running my strongest part of the race.  The run is where I started to feel the heat.  I was sweaty.  The running tank I'd thrown on over my tri suit kept riding up.  My sunglasses got foggy.  My legs felt like the heaviest lead known to man.  Somehow all my bricks combined didn't feel as bad as that run did, yet still, I finished it.  Sandy, one of my most favorite mentors saw my struggle near the end of the run and came out (after finishing her own race, mind you) and ran the last leg with me, cheering me on, pepping me up, and lighting a fire under me.  She ran right alongside of me just up until the finish line was approaching and she vanished, letting me have all the glory of finishing my very first triathlon.

The next few minutes were a blur.  I remember someone handing me a water bottle, the cold metal of the finisher's necklace around my neck, my husband taking pictures and hugging me, my mom beaming proudly, friends chattering about their estimated finish time.  It was all so surreal.  Then it hit me- I really had to PEE.  I think I had to pee around the time the race actually started for me, so nearly an hour and a half later, I had to bolt to the restroom.

And there I sat.  Alone on the john with my thoughts:

"I just finished a triathlon."

"I am a triathlete."

"I just swam, biked and ran, and now I'm done.  I'm a triathlete."

"I don't know what this means for future fitness endeavors, but right now, as I sit on the toilet and take the most rewarding pee of my life, I can honestly say- and no one can take it away from me- that I am a triathlete.  Something I never even fathomed."

I was a mother 'effin triathlete.  And after Sunday, they will be too.

New Start Coming- Take 3!

Warning:  I am about to sound like a broken record.  Let's go ahead and get that out of the way, okay?

I have sucked at training for triathlon #2 of the season.  I really haven't pushed myself.  I think I was a little burnt out from triathlon #1.  My eating has been all over the place- some good, some bad, lot's of the really bad are just habits I need to break (diet soda, going nuts on the weekends, over-consumption of sugar and carbs, etc.).  Some of this is due to a bit of a struggle I've been having with menstrual migraines for the last 3-4 months.  My doctor and I have pretty much narrowed it down to my birth control pill being the cause, and switching pills has at least decreased the number of weeks per month that I get headaches down from 3 to 1, but they are not completely gone.  This week in particular has really thrown me for a loop, as I suspected that the headaches were now just occurring on the week of my period, but I started a new pack of pills without waiting around for my period this month, and I STILL got a migraine on what would have been my period week had a I not started a new pack of pills.  It's so frustrating, and when I have them, I don't really give a #$%6 about healthy eating or exercise, I just want to burrow under the covers in the dark and eat junk to try to make myself feel better.

Now onto the good stuff.  Triathlon #2 is THIS Sunday, and it's going to be great for a number of reasons, but mainly it's going to be great because I get to watch all the athletes who I got to mentor this year become triathletes.  To me, that is more exciting than whatever happens as far as my own race, and, well, that's probably good due to aforementioned lackluster training.  This was my first year as a mentor and while it was harder than I thought it would be in terms of not always feeling like I was of any help to people and maybe feeling like I wasn't always as patient as I could have been, now I know what to expect as a mentor next year, and hearing other people's stories on what brought them to Tri It For Life has been really fun.  I've really enjoyed getting to know approximately 40-50 new people this year, all thanks to this group.  I learned that one of my friends from last year has a husband who is not naturally skinny like when I first saw him and assumed.  He's actually lost a ton of weight over the last several years.  I met a girl who was over 350 pounds, but you would never know it.  It's neat how triathlon training is the beginning of a journey for everyone, but a lot of times it's in the middle of some bigger journey.  Very inspiring group of ladies!

As for me this Sunday,  I do think the bike portion will go well, and if I am having a good swim day, I think I can at least not be WORSE than last year.  The run will just depend on my legs, and, I'm not going to sweat it.  I'd LOVE for my total time to be less than 1:14, but if I can't do it this time, I have another chance to give it a go at the end of September.

I have a huge to-do list this week prior to the race.  Tonight I am going to yoga with the tri training girls, as it is taper week.  I'm not tapering as much this time since I've technically been in training since February.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go run a half marathon on Saturday, but I'd like to get 3-4 workouts in this week along with the triathlon.  Last year I did absolutely NOTHING the week before the tri because of what was the worst case of swimmer's ear I believe I have ever had, and that was a bit of a setback, although I was MORE than ready to do a triathlon after sitting on my rump and wallowing in pain the entire week before. 

Tomorrow after work, I'd like to catch a spin class, as I haven't been to one in like 12 weeks since I've been biking outside, but I also need to work on adjusting the cleats on my road bike shoes because I've had a hard time getting clipped in since I changed them out myself a couple weeks ago and I don't want that annoyance on Sunday if I can help it. I think I just need to move them forward a bit on the shoes.  Thursday I plan on a short run/walk interval set on the treadmill and some weights, then I plan to take Friday off due to having to rush across town after work for our celebration dinner for the new athletes.  I have to help set up, then take blood pressures and weights prior to the  dinner (our group gets grant money by tracking weight and blood pressures before training starts and after we are finished).  Saturday, I am helping with packet pickup for the race on Sunday, which earned me a free entry into the September race, which I am pretty pumped for.  Sunday is the race, and Monday I plan on getting a pedicure and celebrating.  If my body says I'm up for kickboxing on Monday evening, great.  If not, I will call it a rest day.  I just don't want to get into the habit that I've gotten myself into after the last two races where I just don't do any form of exercise for several weeks.

There is still a chance that I may do the triathlon in August, but as a relay with two other people where I will only be doing the bike portion, so I'm not really sweating it either way.  I would love to do a relay though for the experience, but if it doesn't work out, it's okay, because that race would involve me carting my bike up to my parents' house two hours away, then getting up at like 4am to get to the race site which is an hour from their house.  No amount of coffee makes that sound fun.

I am really, really aiming to do more meal preps as well in order to be more on top of my eating, and I've found a decent food/diet combination that I think can work for ME- kind of a hybrid of Weight Watchers and clean eating, but with the clean eating rules bent just a little so as not to feel deprived or like meal prep/shopping is so much work.  Basically I'll eliminate MOST processed foods, try to shop more local fruits and veggies, but keep it convenient.  I have a bad habit of over-complicating meal planning, and I think that is why I don't stick with it so well.  If anyone has tips for easy meals to cook for two (dinner only- the hubs doesn't eat breakfast and eats 99.999% of his lunches on the road), that would be great.  I'll track "points" with an app on my phone Sun-Fri and take a cheat day on Saturday, but try to keep it sane.  I really would love to get about 20 pounds off before the next race, and I KNOW I can do it if I stick to it.


I can't wait to write a race report next week and compare this year to last year!

What a Difference a Day Makes!

So last night, after the dog walk, I realized my back was for real on the mend.  I hit up the grocery store last night for some sandwich items and some snacks, and then came home and took a hot bath, all the while forgetting to take any more Advil before bed.  When I realize what I'd done this morning, I worried for a minute that I might not be able to sit upright.  To my surprise, I felt 97% back to normal.  It still feels a tad tight when I stretch, but no longer painful- even with sitting at a desk for 10 hours.  Wahoo!

My nutrition today has been spot on, I got plenty of water, and I went on the group bike ride.  I got new cleats for my bike shoes, and I must have put the right one a little too far up, because I had a heck of a time getting in and out of my clip on that side, but otherwise it was a WONDERFUL ride.  Storms were going kind of around us, but it cooled the temps off nicely and the cloudyness helped make it a more comfortable ride as well. We went 8 miles exactly in just under 40 minutes.  I wanted to take off and ride a few more miles with a few of the folks who were sticking around, but alas, I thought it wise to take it easy and then some lightening showed up, so I hightailed it home.  No storms at home, so I am stuck yet again watering the trees.  The hubs is out of town this week for work, so I'm sure it's quite comical to see me weaving in and out of them trying to move them around to the different trees.  Yeah, definitely have to visit Lowe's this weekend for a different sprinkler setup.

I grilled some shrimp in some ginger lime glaze, alongside a small red potato.  I'm about to have my second serving of watermelon for the day and hit the bath to soak away just a tiny bit of stiffness and dive deeper into the sequel book to The Devil Wears Prada (called Revenge Wears Prada).  It's starting a little slower than TDWP, but it's still good.  Aside from the shrimp, I think my food choices for tomorrow will be very close to the same things I ate today, as they were delicious and filling, and I am REALLY trying to keep things simple.  I think I get too over the top with food stuff during the week (planning to make difficult recipes on the same nights I'm out training until 8pm, trying to mix it up too much every day, etc.).  I just can't even put into words how much better I feel, both in terms of general energy level and desire to work out/train when I am eating things that are good for me.  It's SO stupid that I don't do things this way every single day.  How do I get so lost sometimes??

Get it DONE

So on Saturday, I declared that this week was going to be my, "go hard and strong all week at the gym, catch up on slack triathlon training, and feel ready for my July 14th race" week.  Then I hurt my back from what I assume was poor body mechanics while planting trees in our back yard as part of Project-I'm-Tired-Of-Seeing-The-Back-of-My-Neighbors-House.  Don't get me wrong- they are nice, but if there's one thing I hate about new construction and building a home, it's the lack of trees.  Unless of course you are fortunate enough to get a wooded lot.  We chose a corner lot across from where the neigborhood pool will be once it is built, so it's not ALL doom and gloom, I just would merely like to sit on my back porch and have a beer without broadcasting what I'm doing to 3-4 other houses.  And consequently, I don't really like for other people to feel like I'm sitting on my back porch watching them. 

Anyway, I have NEVER had a back injury before.  Well, aside from the strained right side of my lower back that I've been dealing with for about the last 6-8 months, but it is 98% better, and I don't really classify it as a back injury because I could still exercise while that was going on.  This back injury?  Totally different.  It felt like sore muscles in my lower back on Saturday directly after we were finished planting the trees.  Sunday was near impossible to sit or stand upright, and if I had to bend over, you could pretty much forget it, but the 1-2 times I managed to do it out of necessity, I felt a weird pinching in my lower spine- one that kind of takes your breath away while at the same time making you gasp and have ugly face. 

It feels lots better with Advil (which I have been consuming like they are Skittles), but I'm still really feeling it when I'm having to sit in my desk chair for work and when I first wake up in the morning.  I do think I just strained it, and I am feeling much, much better three days out, but still very nervous to go work out.  I'm giving myself another night off aside from maybe walking the dog since it's not too hot out.  I think I may be able to tackle something at the gym tomorrow.   I hesitate to go on the group bike ride out on the road just because I'm afraid I will start to have a don of pain and won't be able to stop.  At least if I try and catch a spin class, getting off the bike and going home will be an option if there is still pain there.

Bottom line?  Hurting your back sucks.  I should have known better.  I am a nurse, and I spent several years practicing very good body mechanics when lifting and moving heavy/immobile people and never got hurt.  I am just mad at myself for being an idiot, basically.  And man, I have SUCKED at training for this 2nd triathlon.  And annoyed that my times were less than stellar for the last triathlon.  And worried that it's too late for me to train enough to really progress and have a better time than last year.  And upset with myself that I continue to flounder when it comes to nutrition and a STEADY exercise plan.


I guess complaining about it is not really going to get me anywhere, and neither is continuing on this pattern I've been on.  I may not be able to exercise the way that I want right now, but I CAN still manage to eat healthy/clean and do what my body allows me to.  I can come here and post more often for accountability.  I can do a better job at planning healthy meals and snacks.  All this is within my capability- so I just need to GET IT DONE.

Plan for the next 24 hours:
Dog walk tonight.
Prep breakfast/snacks for tomorrow.
Go out tomorrow to the grocery store at lunch and get some healthy lunch foods.
Defrost some shrimp for dinner tomorrow.
Hope and pray that I can get out of this house for a real exercise session by tomorrow!

A Review of the South Charlotte Ramblin' Rose

The South Charlotte Ramblin' Rose Triathlon was almost two weeks ago and I'm just getting around to writing.  I've kind of been in a weird mental space since then (more about that later).  I did want to write about my experience and hopefully get to the bottom of the case of the yucks that I've had ever since.  I kind of equate it to how you feel after Christmas is over- all that buildup, then poof- it's all over with.  Only this is more exhausting on some levels.

Training and Nutrition

So, for starters, I want to congratulate myself on sticking to a 12-week training plan, most of which I did all on my own.  I learned that training on your own is much harder and less fun than training with a large group.  Towards the last few weeks of my training, the training for the new athletes with Tri It For Life started training for the Ramblin' Rose Rock Hill, so it got a little more social there at the end.  *Note: I did NOT ride my road bike alone.  I mostly did spin class for I'd say 10 out of the 12 weeks, then eventually when it started warming up, I did get out for a few group rides, and got to test the race course.  I do think spin class was a good enough substitute to train for a 9-mile bike ride, but if I were doing anything more, I'd probably invest in a bike trainer for the colder months.  My nutrition was somewhat better this time around too.  I dabbled with Clean Eating and definitely noticed that I felt a lot better and more energetic when I left out all things processed.  I'd say I'm about 60/40 on that right now- could be better on the weekends.  Also, I still I haven't kicked my Diet Mountain Dew habit.  It's more of an addiction than a habit.  Remember the famous line from Brokeback Mountain?  Yeah, I wish I knew how to quit Diet Mountain Dew.  Diet Brokeback Mountain Dew, y'all.

Race Day

There's just no kind way to say it.  The race day conditions were a bitch.  You'd think on May 5th, you wouldn't be dreading taking off your FLEECE and BEANIE to get ready for the swim.  It was cloudy, cold and super windy.  I ran around the transition area after setup jumping up and down.  My bones were freezing.  We had to line up outside in just our swim gear/tri suits for the swim.  It was pretty brutal.   Many of us were in full on penguin huddle.

The Swim
7:21  (Last year's time:  6:49; with an extra 50 meters)

I was least excited for the swim.  I knew I didn't get enough time in the pool and I never did really focus on any drills to get faster or better, I just kind of swam freestyle once a week for twelve weeks.  Maybe I went twice during one or two of those weeks.  I am glad I'm better at swimming, but I still don't enjoy it per se.  You place yourself in a group that swims a certain time, and this is to (sort of) prevent bottle-necking in the pool, because with people swimming down and back in each lane, its kind of hard to pass people.  I didn't even time myself until the Friday before the race.  The swim for this particular triathlon was shortened to just 200 meters, but you still had to place yourself in a timed group based on how fast you swam 250 meters.  I think this was mega-confusing to people and I think a lot of people put themselves in too fast of a group because they thought they were basing it off their 200 meter swim time.  My 200 meter swim time that day that I timed myself was 5:32 or so, and it took me 7:01 to swim 250.  I kind of took it easy on those last 50 meters.  So, on race day, I put myself in the 6:30 group, and planned on hanging towards the back.

The swim had been moved inside at the last minute due to the fact that the outside pools were just too cold.  Spectators were not allowed inside because there was not enough room for athletes plus spectators, and that was kind of a bummer.  I think I was more towards the middle of my group, and even though I felt like it was one of my faster swims ever (felt like around 5 minutes in my head, though I did not time myself), there was much bottle-necking in the beginning and there were so many of us on top of each other that no one could really pass until we got to a wall.  That was super frustrating.  Then, we had to run all the way out of the side of the pool, down a long corridor, down some sidewalk, and FINALLY crossed the "swim finish" mat.  It was seriously far away, and for that, my swim time was 7:21.  I crossed some kind of a mat as soon as I got out of the pool and mistakenly thought this was the swim finish mat and that my transition time had started.  I took my time during the transitions because I knew I wanted to be completely dried off and comfortable for the bike portion, given the craptastic weather.  Just for a reference point, I did the 250 meter swim last summer in 6:49.  Ugh, just....ugh.  It was a mess.  I couldn't figure out for the life of me what took so long until I saw a friend posted on Facebook that most people could shave about 2 minutes off their swim time due to the odd placement of the mat.


Bike

35:48 for 9 miles (Last year's bike:  33:25 for 8 miles)

What can I say?  I was pushing against the wind for a good portion of the bike ride.  Oh, and the Wells Fargo Golf Championship was going on during our race and we rode by two entrances to the country club where it was held, and there were giant charter buses and extra traffic to contend with.  I will say the route was well marked, and the placement of the police at the intersections was great.  I never had to unclip from my pedals or stop, which was nice.  There was another "bottle-necking" episode on the bikes, too, and it was unfortunately right at the entrance to the golf tournament where there was a bit of traffic, so I was forced to ride behind some slower folks for about a mile.  Seriously, this one girl was riding to my left during this point, would not pass me, but was eating a bag of trail mix she had tied onto her handlebars.  It's a nine-mile ride.  You don't need a snack.  It was a little infuriating.  That brings me to another point about the bike.  If you are passing someone- FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY- shout something out.  I don't care if you say, "I'm about to own your ass on this bike ride", so long as I know you are there.  There were SO many people who snuck up on me without saying a word.  I'm thankful that I train with some of the best, and we follow ALL the rules!  I think it wouldn't have bothered me as much if the route hadn't been smack in the middle of all that golf stuff.  Anyway, so much for being so much faster on my fancy new road bike with my fancy clip pedals.  Really, I know the weather and conditions were a factor.  My hands were frozen stiff to the point where at one time I thought I was in my lowest gear (because I clicked down and nothing happened) and that I was just tiring out, only to try again a few minutes later and learn that I could gear down FOUR more times before I was in my lowest gear (helloooo sore legs).  My hands were that cold- with my bike gloves on.   I know I rode a lot faster on the practice rides.  I know I can do better.  Oh well.

The Run
25:39  (Last year's run time:  28:47)

Huzzah!  Finally, some progress somewhere.  My runs felt a lot (a LOT) easier this season.  I'm still no runner.  More of an intervalist at best, but I can see big improvements compared to last year.  I also got smart this year and wore a watch with a timer so I could time my walk/run intervals.  This was really helpful during that first half a mile or so when my legs were wobbly from the bike ride.  Also, I ran about the last 3/4 of a mile without stopping at all.  That was good stuff.

Total Time
1:15:42  (Last year's total time: 1:14:00)

I had really, really hoped for a drastic improvement.  Like, an hour or less type of improvement.  I really did feel like training went a lot easier and I felt like I had made a lot of progress.  This swim was 50 meters shorter and the bike was a mile longer, so ultimately I guess I was pretty much the same.  I do attribute a lot of it to the weather.  It was nasty.  My transition times were pretty much twice as long as last year, but honestly the thought of getting on my bike soaking wet in the cold, rain and wind sounded like hell on earth, so a 4 minute transition time might as well have been a 45 minute transition time so long as I was dry and not as cold.  I came home and took the longest, hottest shower of my life when it was all over.  


What's next?

You know, I really feel very similar to how I did after the triathlon last summer. I"m kind of over swimming, biking and running.  I just kind of want to go to yoga, or kickboxing, or maybe lift more weights, order P90X- really, anything different.  But what I've found myself doing over the last two weeks is barely working out at all.  I've done one bike ride and one gym session where I lifted weights and ran on the treadmill.  Let's be honest here, it's not like I just completed and Ironman, where maybe two weeks of doing nothing would be warranted, but all I did was a silly sprint triathlon.  Now I totally have the doldrums and can't seem to get really excited about doing another one in July, August, September and October.  I haven't signed up for any more as of yet, even though this was my goal in the beginning- to do all of them (minus Raleigh).

I really don't enjoy swimming.  I feel like I'm suffocating when I'm in the pool and I still feel like I have no endurance.  It's crazy how your cardiovascular endurance on land absolutely does NOT transfer to the pool.  I am really enjoying my new bike and clip pedals and really don't want to end up not using it.  I also am liking running more now that I suck slightly less at it.  Part of me wants to challenge myself to a half marathon.  Part of me wants to find some kind of bike group and just bail on triathlons.  I'm stuck between deciding if this is REALLY how I feel, or if I am just needing a little break.

I hate to ditch this blog, but I've also been daydreaming about starting a blog about home decor, crafts and other fun stuff.  But I don't want that blog to detract from my working out. Also, I don't want to bail on something I set out to do, but you just get to a point where you have to ask yourself if it's worth it to complete what you set out to do if you aren't truly enjoying it like you thought you would.  Maybe "Agree to Tri" will become "Agree to Tri all kinds of things".  Argh, I just hate feeling this way.  I'd say everything is "TBD" at this point, and I'm going to just have to be okay with that until I can sort through it all and decide what to do.  I hate to be a quitter, but I'm wondering if I'm cut out for this at all.  It's not like doing four more sprint triathlons is going to qualify me for some larger race (nor do I want to do anything on a larger scale).  I don't want to graduate to open-water swims (I hate "varmits" in the water and unknown things brushing up against me).  So, I guess what I'm struggling with is, if I know I'm not going to get so awesome over the next 4 months that I place in my age group, or qualify for some other race, or anything like that- what is the point?   Guess I need to decide this before I shell out another $300 in race fees...

Race and Training Updates

First of all, I feel that I should follow up to my last post and share my good bike riding news.  Last Saturday, I was determined to shoot over to the bike shop in the morning and bite the bullet- buy bike shoes and cleats, and go ahead and put my clip in pedals back on (they came with the bike).   There was even a group of girls meeting that afternoon to ride in a safe area for me to practice getting in and out of the pedals and I was really excited to get out there and try.  Unfortunately, the bike shop did not have my size in the shoes and had just sold the last pair of the type of cleats I needed.  Bummer.  They went ahead and ordered them for me, and I decided to watch the ACC basketball tournament instead of meeting for a ride.

But the weather last Saturday was so wonderful!  77 degrees, albeit a little windy.  My husband rides flatland BMX, and I could tell he wanted to go ride his bike somewhere, so I suggested we go together.  He typically rides in empty parking lots, so I figured we'd head over to a local business park where I could ride using the dreaded cages on my bike and work on getting my right foot in without panic.  And so off we went.

It took a few tries, but I was able to master getting in and out of the cages and had a hugely enjoyable ride.  With both feet properly in the cages, I could really feel a difference in speed, as well as how much easier it was on my left quad to not have my left foot being the only one in the cage doing all the work.  I zipped and zipped around the side streets and empty parking lots while the husband worked on mastering a "hang 5".  Some parts were tough when I was working against the wind, but ultimately it ended up being a good ride and I left feeling  confident instead of defeated.

^This is my happy bike face- complete with crazy helmet hair^

In other training news, I've been doing most of my bike training during the week in spin class.  I am not sure if it is an exact replacement, but it whoops my a** every single time!  I've never been so sweaty in my life!  I have also been doing the majority of my running on the treadmill due to weather and amount of daylight after I'm done working (though I'm happy that has recently changed and look forward to some outdoor runs soon).  I've stepped it up and realized that when I put my mind to it, I can run faster and for longer than I realized.  Running *really* is such a mind game.  Admittedly, I am not as great at "mind game" type sports as I am at other things.  Put a personal trainer in front of me and I will lift weights as hard and heavy as I can go.  I will kick and jump and punch with the best of them in kickboxing class.  But running is different, it's just you and your thoughts.  Your mind telling you what hurts, what you probably cannot accomplish, how out of breath you feel, etc. 

Swimming is going okay too.  I haven't exactly been using "drills" like last time, more just swimming up and down, down and back, freestyle for the most part, kickboard when I'm tired, backstroke when I'm not sharing the lane with anyone else (I'm a weaver when I swim on my back).  Last week's swim had me feeling really breathless. My allergies were acting up and you really need to have open nasal passages to feel like you can breathe when you are swimming.  If you rely on your mouth, your air gulps usually also contain a bit of water with them.  And today I woke up with a cold, so I'm even more stuffy and decided to spend most of the day parked on the couch, so I'll need to try to make up a swim this week if I feel up to it.  I started to try to time myself for the length of the swim for the first triathlon I'm doing, but got distracted when a rogue 5 year old went kamikaze and jumped into my lane, forcing his dad to go in after him.  Kind of killed my buzz, so I will try again this week.  

In race-related news, I have decided I'm not going to do the Ramblin' Rose Raleigh race.  For one, it's a mere two weeks after my first tri of the season.  Also, it falls on the same weekend that we are in Raleigh for a BMX contest that we've been helping out with for the last couple years.  My husband brings his bike and rides, and helps with setup and take down and somehow I have won myself the role of registration helper, so I generally sit in a tent all day and take money and talk to the riders (and a lot of parents, if the kids are under 18) and usually have a pretty decent spot to watch all the contests go down.  If I were to to the Raleigh tri, I'd basically be sprinting to the BMX event the minute I was done, looking like a drowned rat, with race legs, and probably starving, having gotten up at 0'dark thirty, and I just don't see it being an enjoyable day.  All that on a Sunday, then having to drive 3 hours to get home and work the next day.  Ugh.  It was stressing me out for weeks on end, and last week I missed the deadline to register before the price went up, so I considered it a sign and officially bowed out.  Also, the swim is outside.  While it will probably be "ok" by May 18th, it certainly won't be warm, and if it's a cold day, the thought of getting on my bike to "dry off" with it being possibly cool and windy sounds just AWFUL.  I really wish they would make this race in June.  Out of the entire series that runs from May to October, there are no races in June and two within two weeks in May.  Dumb.  Maybe I will volunteer or something, so I can scope it out for next year potentially, but still be able to bounce and show up at the BMX thing looking respectable, instead of looking like a wet version of Grumpy Cat.

So, the new race schedule includes one respectable race in May, all of June to train for the July race, then a race per month from July-October.  Then I'm going to drink a keg of beer all to myself in celebration.  Not really, I am a complete lightweight these days.  I'm talking fall asleep holding the first beer of the evening kind of lightweight.  What would my college-aged self say to this thirties version of myself?  The horror!!


I do see progress though, despite doubting myself at times.  For my very first tri, I did the bike ride in 33:25 and the run in 28:47.  On Saturday, I did a 9-mile bike ride in 29:30 and a 2 mile run (a couple walk intervals) in 26:27!  P-R-O-G-R-E-S-S!!  I really plan on using the May 5th race as a marker for what I need to work on for July, so I'm not going to sweat whatever the results are.  It's the first race of the "season" of races, and it's going to be in a very familiar place (our old neighborhood YMCA- where I do ALL my swim training), and the bike ride is through the area we used to live in, so I think it's going to be great.  I hope for great weather and a fun first time out on my new bike in a race.

Next up, mastering these guys.

Doubt is a Dirty Little Word

A few weeks ago, I bought a new bike.  Saturday was my first real ride.  I was so pumped.  I had a cute new jacket to wear (with THUMBHOLES- yay!)

I loaded up my new bike, and I was SO pumped.  I couldn't wait for our 10 mile, "easy" ride to see how going from a heavy hybrid bike last year to a feather-light road bike was going to feel.  I just KNEW it was going to make me tons faster.  After all, last year everyone kept telling me I was going to be unstoppable once I switched up to a road bike, and I believed them.  I was soooo hyped for this ride.  I had a new bike rack for my car, and my new girl was all loaded up (I'm still trying to come up with a name for her).

It was COLD at 7:45 that morning. 37 degrees and kind of windy- or at least windy when you're riding your bike.  I don't know.  I think I blanked out for the first few minutes.  It's hard to see in the picture, but I put pedals with "cages" on them on my bike.  When I was practicing with them in my neighborhood, it was a bit tricky at first to get my second foot in the cage while riding.  The foot you start off with is not hard, because you just shove it in there as you push off, but then you have to coordinate getting your other foot into the cage while riding.  The point of these stupid things is so that you get some movement and power from when you pull your legs up as well as when you push the pedals down, hence, making it easier to go faster.  I chose pedals with cages because I thought they would be easier to get in and out of than pedals that you clip into with your special bike shoes.  Also, I didn't really want to spend more money on special bike shoes, and, I like biking in my running shoes because that's one less thing to have to change out of during transition in the triathlon.

Anyway, I guess I just freaked out. The ride started out on a pretty busy main road by the bike shop.  I panicked and basically never got my right foot into the cage the entire time.  I was not in a good state.  Fortunately one of the awesome guys from the bike shop was sweeping (basically, he was escorting me while everyone else rode off into the sunset).  He told me it was no big deal that my foot wasn't in the cage and just to take it one pedal at a time.  He reminded me about changing my gears when I couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that my left quad was on fire- partially from spin class earlier that week, and that fire was totally stoked by the fact that my left leg was working harder since it was the one I kept in the cage.  There were hills.  I was an emotional mess.  I was mad at myself.  I was FAR more out of breath during certain points than I thought I'd be (though I think a lot of it was the result of nerves).  At one point, I considered just falling off my bike into a ditch and pretending I couldn't go on, but I'm not very good at lying, so I didn't want to make even more of a fool of myself. I finished the ride exhausted, in pain, and super annoyed with myself.  And by the way- cages SUCK.  I might as well get the stupid shoes and put the pedals back on my bike that I can clip into.  They can't be nearly as hard as squeezing my running shoe into a small wedge of plastic, and well, if I can't get unclipped in time and happen to fall off my bike- well, they say that you're not a true biker until it happens, so bring it on I guess. 

The spiral of doubt started on Saturday.  It was briefly interrupted when I attended the kick-off meeting for the new athletes on Saturday and got to meet and greet and see all the excited faces.  I got to talk and give tips and be excited for them.  Briefly, the doubt left my mind.  I did this last year.  Not all of the training that let me there was fun and fantastic- a lot of it was exhausting and challenging.  I guess I had forgotten that.  Sunday, we did the swimming assessments for the new athletes and I brought my swimming gear so I could get in a swim workout.  I felt out of breath.  My goggles were fogged up the whole time.  My new swimsuit is cut lower than my old one and there were several instances where I thought my boob might have popped out. 

I have skipped working out Mon-Wed of this week.  Why? I don't know.  I guess because of the doubt.  I started thinking, "What if I just don't do any freaking triathlons?"  Then I would feel awful and would be a failure.  So this afternoon I looked up all the courses and read about them and ran through the lists of people who had already signed up to see if I saw any familiar names.  I looked at the race results from last year, and you know what?  My time wasn't terrible.  1:14:00.  And I remembered that I did that with what was the worst case of swimmer's ear I have ever had.  Where I had a stick of cotton wedged in my ear by an urgent care doc to open up my ear canal.  I could not hear out of my right ear AT ALL.  Losing one of my senses really threw me that day, but I did the best I could.  And it wasn't terrible.   I think maybe the person who got first place did it in something like 45 minutes.  I also think she was 15.  I am cool with being 29 minutes behind a 15 year old for my very first tri.  All this made me very excited to see what I can do this year.  What if I got better at each and every race?  You know, assuming no dreaded flat tires on the bike route, this is entirely possible.

So, I am still shaky.  I still have no idea what's going to happen on that bike the next time I get out there.  I a still rattled that I had such a bad ride on Saturday.  I really am at a point where I feel like I am TOTALLY NOT READY.  I guess I didn't feel like this last year because I knew I had the whole 12 weeks to get ready, and this year I feel like I should be "born ready" since I've already done a triathlon, and the truth is, that is not the case.  Especially since I spent most of the winter only going to the gym very sporadically.  A lot of my training buddies have been on their bike trainers all winter, or running with special run training groups, or swimming every week all during the off season, and I didn't do all that.  There is nothing I can do about it now. 

All I can do is get out there and train hard until May 5th.  That's 41 days from now.  It's a lot of time, but also not much time.  I have to make the rest of my days count.   That means the rest of this week will need to be packed with workouts.  No more days off.  No more pity party.  I've got this.  No more doubt.